Elixir: The Aftermath

Last night a small but elite group of drinkers infiltrated the Elixir and
proceeded to sabotage their central processing units. Dubliner platoon, led
by Major Alex Bower, executed a frontal assault with IPA’s blazing, supported
by Fernet grazing fire. After recon by EOP's Charles Hardy, Fandango squad,
led by Liz Rood (Codename: Red Zard 1), executed flanking maneuver “Martini”.
Specialist Steve Courtney chilled the enemy’s blood, crying “Cock!!” This
disoriented the enemy and gave Baron Von Joy Joy (code name: Mantroid) a clean
shot. Firing blasts from his weapon of bass destruction, he trashed the
enemy’s ranks. Kristian (codename: Ski jump) and Casey (codename: Nashville)
rushed into the gap and fired bursts from their whiskey-fueled potato bazooka.
Boooyaaa!!

With the enemy engaged on the right flank, the Tavern Cadre stealthily
maneuvered in from Noe Valley. Led by “Rogers Boys”, they had a plan. After
laying down a good field of beer-fire, the got in position for the final kill.
Lieutenant Lemondrop distracted the enemy with small but precise sniper
shots. Then, with a staggering attack formation, Sarah (Codename: Valley
Girl) delivered the coupe de grace with the awesome firepower of 6 Jaeger
Bombs. Can you say "BOOOOOOM"? Counter-Terrorists Win!!

But seriously, you guys rock. Feel the love!! I mean really, feel the
Luuuuuuuv!!. Thanks for an awesome night. We raised About $400 via your
heavy-metal tipping techniques. It’s great to have such great friends who
will support such a great cause. Everything is coming up Millhouse!! You guys
are awesome!!