Nowadays, I'm seriously wondering if the right-wing speaks English. I tried to have an honest discussion with some right-wingers via email. I thought we both spoke English, but now I'm not so sure. Here's some examples of things I have heard them say:

"Things are going well in Iraq."

This makes me scratch my head in amazement. First, the American forces are so scared at this point that they barely venture out from their heavily fortified positions. And when they do, they are almost immediately attacked. A friend of mine is a contractor working in Iraq. Before they leave their house, their gendarmes must sweep the street to make sure there is no one waiting to ambush/kidnap/kill them. Sound like everything is great? Please. Even by wartime standards things are awful.

"The Liberals are being pessimistic about the economy."

Pessimistic? How about realistic. The economy sucks. Wages are falling. The rising deficit is compounding the unemployment problem. Everyone knows interest rates are probably going to rise back to the Reagan era range. Thus no one wants to borrow money, which means no ones gonna be hiring soon. To top it off, Bush squanders our 2 trillion dollar surplus by cutting taxes and raising spending. The economy sucks. It's not pessimism, it's reality.

After a few rounds of email concerning church and state, guns, affirmative action, and the war, I saw that my language was not communicating with them. Further, I wondered how they could even communicate among themselves with a language so divorced from reality. It's sad to see such ignorance, but it doesn't surprise me anymore.

I will give them some credit though. Concerning biting rhetoric, they put me to shame. They can cut heads with the best of the sixth graders. I could never be so thoroughly insulting to someone. Well, on second thought, maybe I could, but I haven't tried. Frankly, I have better things to do than hurl insults. Honestly, I was surprised by the name calling. It's so irrelevant, not to mention juvenile. For your reading enjoyment, I've posted a sample below. It's taken from an email I received a few days ago. Really folks, this person takes me waaaaaay back. Now that the nostalgia is swimming in my head, I think I'll go have a popsicle and listen to some Madonna. Later, dude.


---
In this episode, someone emailed a piece of right-wing propaganda which you can view here:
http://members.cox.net/classicweb/email.htm

So, I responded with my own:
http://home.earthlink.net/%7Ehouval/gopconstrm.mov


Read on. I especially like the racist bit, but the glorification of violence to solve this person's problems, that tells more about the right-wing than anything I can write.

Edited to protect the guilty.

[Anonymous] wrote:

That's enough, you supreme horse's ass. I don't know where you sprung up from, or how you can think for one Goddamned minute any of us give a rat's fat fart what goes on in that pea you call a brain.... Like the stereotypical liberal you are, you show a complete lack of respect for what anyone else requests for their own sake because you think (term used loosely here) that you have all of the answers and we're misguided.

You're full of shit like a Christmas goose. So much so, in fact, that I'm sure you believe any fellow liberal's fart sounds like violins and smells like roses, so long as you're all in agreement of your pathetic agendas.

Tell you what, pal. If ever I get the golden opportunity of meeting you face to face, I'll haul you off to my old neighborhood. In Detroit. I'll turn your white, skinny ass loose without a gun (you'll be the only one there without one), and let's see you get to know these folks down there. The ones you claim the left are fighting for. And while they're carjacking you (or worse), let's see you reason with them. After all, they're just people.

Afterward, I'll take you to a little town next door. Dearborn. It's the heaviest Arab-populated city in the U.S. We'll have a little chat with them, too (that is, if you get out of Detroit alive, which I doubt). Particularly the Iraqis - just like I did three days after the military entered Baghdad. I met quite a few men who were guests in Saddam's hotels. They have more love for this country than you do, you soft-bellied, self-indulgent, half-witted, spoiled-brat twat.

Your "idealism" has cost more lives than it's saved. That subject alone makes me loathe you. The fact that you hide behind the coattails of anyone that will shore you up while knocking someone else down who doesn't agree with you and your worthless agendas make me loathe you all the more. You were a mere toy before, Darren, make no mistake. Now, you're a tool. And to respond to an email in which you weren't even initially invited, then go on to disregard the request of a lady who is very near and dear to my heart makes you an even bigger tool.

Now, fuck off, you pussy. It galls me no end to know that I could kick your lily-livered ass from here to next week and that you probably look better in a dress than I do. Go back to burning flags and the Constitution before pissing on them. You're out of your league here.

Pussy.

-[Anonymous]